Domestically Partnered
Last Wednesday, Julie and I took an official step in our relationship by registering as domestic partners with the District of Columbia.
We swore that we are both over 18, competent to contract, share a mutual residence, are not married or members of other domestic partnerships, are the sole partner of the other, and do not have pending termination of previous domestic partnership.
Notarized forms in tow we made it in and out in less than half an hour and now have a certificate to get framed.
Julie and I have always talked about our complicated views of marriage as an institution and have worked to make our relationship authentically our own. This official step seemed at once enormously significant and small in comparison to the seriousness that we bring to our relationship without any official imprimatur.
Now we are guaranteed hospital and nursing home visitation rights in the District of Columbia only. Sadly, we are denied the full and faith and credit guarantees of the United States Constitution because of a combination of federal and state "Defense of Marriage" Acts.
Article IV Section 1 of the United State Constitution states "Full faith and credit shall be given in each state to the public acts, records, and judicial proceedings of every other state. And the Congress may by general laws prescribe the manner in which such acts, records, and proceedings shall be proved, and the effect thereof."
You can see why this is important for the functioning of a federal system. The country just wouldn't function if states could reject birth certificates or drivers licenses ad hoc. "I'm sorry sir, it looks like we don't recognize your birth in this state so you aren't eligible for that drivers license. I'll have to confiscate that and take your non-existent ass into the station." What if you had to get remarried every time you crossed state lines. If a state wants to deny you that right and its accompanying protections you are up a creek without a paddle. That's kind of what it's like for people with civil unions or domestic partnerships.
I'm not a lawyer so I'm not clear on these boundaries but the way it should work is that whatever status is bestowed upon a citizen by one state carries over in another. If you live in a state with common law marriage and get "married" under that statute you are still married if you go to a state without common law marriage. It's not as clear, however, if this works the same way with domestic partnership because the law is just so fresh.
If, for example, we moved to a state that recognized domestic partnership (list is slightly stale) we might be able to make an Equal Protection claim under local law but again the DOMA could bite us.
Until these questions are resolved by the courts and until Congress and the states enact a sane family law policy we are left with solid protection in the District of Columbia and now have to take steps to draft a durable power of attorney for each-other.
Regardless of all this legal quibbling, it feels great to know that Julie and I are now officially partners, a name we have long called each-other.
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Who is this guy?
Why didn't someone tell me sooner?! Mazel Tov you Crazy Kids! ;) (hehehe...)
Hey hey! Congrats to the both of you.
Congrats!
Kirstin and I are also of the complicated marriage view. Our basic stance is: if our gay and lesbian friends can't get married, then we won't get married. We've been together almost 10 years (living together for 6 years), were registered as domestic partners at Wesleyan University (where Kirstin used to work), and have referred to each other as partners for many years. We may end up having a civil union in Connecticut or Vermont one of these days - you never know. ;)
You and Julie are wonderful people, and what you've done is very, very cool.
Accent included:
Congratulations!
I'm happy for you!
This discussion comes right on time for me to tell you the swiss people just voted in favor of civil unions last weekend! Oddly enough, this union is destined only for gay people. Celibacy and marriage are the only two options for heterosexuals. Weird, huh?
Adoption was the main argument of the campaign against the new law. Even though adoption is not allowed in the swiss civil union. This was total intoxication! But it doesn't suprise me: Switzerland is so conservative compared to its neighbours.
Anyway...
Kisses from Lausanne, I miss you two!
NOBODY TELLS ME ANYTHING (because I've been oh so availiable)
Congrats! Can partners go on honeymoons to Boston? Come on, we have gay marriage!
PS- Stenny has informed me he will only marry in a state that has gay marriage, which I think is cool.
Congrats! I'm so happy for you. It makes me so proud that I knew you both "way back when", when you first met. :)
It's funny, I was just thinking about you two today and wondering what is new in your lives... and here is the answer to my question! (Or part of the answer.) I feel like I get this tiny little window into your life through your website and photos, and it's like an appetizer, enjoyable but leaving me wanting more! I'm still hoping that one day you two will make it out to Seattle, and hopefully one of these days Rob and I will be able to make a trip to DC. I miss you.
Sam and Julie, I am happy that you took this step. It expands your legal rights as a couple. It is also an act that supports both the importance of legal domestic partnerships and the legislation that ligitimizes them. I have witnessed your deep commitment to each other that includes respect and affection. I see this legal act as supporting this beautiful relationship, which continues to evolve, grow and nuture you as a couple and as individuals. Love to you both.